Things to do when your internet is down

My internet connection has been pretty drippy over the last few months. You know what it’s like when you call up customer services. They run you through the same script you’ve been through a zillion times before. Have you checked this, have you checked that, is it hooked up this way or that. Yes, yes and hell yes. It doesn’t matter how many times you call them, you always end up back at square one.

I’m so accustomed to having information at my fingertips that when access to instant knowledge is taken away, I flounder. My mind goes blank and I physically don’t know what to do to occupy myself.

  • There’s something on eBay that I wanted to buy. The auction is ending soon and I can’t bid.
  • My Mum’s asked me to check out some sun holidays for her. Well, she’s going to be stranded in wet and dreary Ireland at this rate.
  • My daughter’s studying for her GCSE exams and can’t access the previous papers online.
  • I plan to make a nice tomato soup later with all the tomatoes I brought back from France last weekend but I can’t search for a recipe.
  • I fancy going to see a movie later but can’t find out what’s showing, check the times, or buy a ticket.
  • I want to tweet and say hi to some new followers.
  • I want to go on Facebook and check out what my friends have planned for the weekend.

So instead of doing all of that, today you’ll find me at home, drifting through a medley of bland and mundane tasks to fill in the time I usually spend online. I’ve browsed through some glossy magazines over a coffee. I’ve washed the kitchen floor, the bathroom floor and shook out my backdoor mat. I’ve done a load of laundry. I’ve uploaded some new photos from the camera onto my Mac. I don’t want to do any more housework, there’s nothing on the telly (it’s midday so why would there be?) and I’m avoiding the pile of paperwork I know I should be tackling.  I’m not in the mood for a walk, my husband has gone off with the car, and the lawnmower is buried under a ton of junk in the shed.

I WANT TO GO ONLINE! NOW!